To Dr. Buccal Cavity, with Love
"Don’t show your buccal cavity” screamed Dr. S. K. Sood. Not that Dr. Buccal Cavity (as we used to call him) was boring but his voice was a perfect source for a lullaby... His voice is deep with a reasonable tone which is appealing to the soul... especially that part of the brain which generates drowsiness. His subject, 'Basic Nutrition' was named ‘Science of the unknown’ for all of us who had no clue as to what he taught. His lectures always had such a profound effect on us that even Krishnan Swaminath Yarramuthu Iyengar (KS in short), the insomniac, would doze off. One would only wake up once the Dr. started screaming about the buccal cavity. In fact whatever he taught was very useful to only those who understood and appreciated the subject, for example, doctors who treat malnutrition children and of course my dear friend KS.
As I was skimming through the newspaper one bright Sunday morning, I saw a familiar face. Dr. Buccal-Cavity was holding a peanut. One could see him staring at the peanut with same satisfaction, as a mother when she looks at her newborn child. One could also see that the peanut was staring back at his baldhead. If I could listen to what peanut was thinking, I am sure I could hear it say “at last! I found my mama.” He had devised a method by which Oil can be extracted from the peanut with out crushing it.
KS had once asked him “butt waat is the yuse saar?” “Iyee yam saree saar.” He continued, “Iyee hyad noo yentention aaf hurtting yyou ar your research, butt eye don’t yunderstand what is the yuse”
“These peanuts have low fat content and are edible,” said the doctor proudly to the whole class. All the women were delighted to hear the revelation. He passed around some of the nuts to the class. We filled it in our pockets, purses, tissues and whatever we could lay our hands on. We literally survived on the peanuts and water (diet coke was not available those days) for three full hours. During lunchtime, we lost the determination to diet and attacked the food counter in the SDH (Students dining hall).
As regards to the fate of our dear friend KS, he was banned in to all the basic nutrition classes. Every one envied KS while I felt sorry for him. It was only during these classes that KS was able to grab some sleep.
I remember waking up one morning only to discover that I was late for Dr.’s lecture. “You are too early for the next class, my dear!” he screamed, as he saw me entering late. Had I argued, I know my fate would be that similar to KS. Had I didn’t, my fate would still have been similar to KS. “I wasn’t well, Sir.” “May be because of the unhygienic conditions of the tea stall I visited yesterday”. I some how seemed to have ignited some thing within him because he took up the next lecture to explain the ill effects of eating out side. Though I had got the permission to attend his class that day, my classmates were giving me ugly stares.
To be honest, I can't remember much of Dr. Buccal-Cavity’s classes apart from the fact that there were several thousand of figures and graphs. I honestly couldn't see even then, how Dr. Buccal-Cavity coped with these figures him self. He is one genius who could look rite in to your eyes and say, “that loaf has exactly 222.22 grams of extra carbohydrates that you need to consume in a day”. And that was just the breakfast!
Dr. Buccal-Cavity’s classes surely helped us in some way or the other. All those charts and format that I see in my office bring back nostalgic memories of the nutritional value of some vegetable called ‘Iskus.’ The vegetable according to him was used to eat during Inka civilization. I still wonder what was ‘Iskus’ doing in Hotel Management course content and to top it, what was had Inka civilization to do with nutritional value of what we eat today in hotels. No hotel would make a dish out of ‘Iskus’ even if that vegetable still existed. Imagine if you were being served ‘Iskus’ in a hotel.
Your wife (To the head steward): That’s a nice piece if furniture there. I want some thing similar for my home.
You (to yourself): My wife is fond of unusual artifacts. Though I think that… thing… can I call it a thing… is quite repulsive.
Steward (To your wife): That’s ‘Iskus’. We eat it. People from Inka civilization … Blah blab… (You cannot listen to it anymore)
Your eyes suddenly pop out and as you fix it back in to the sockets, you say to your self, “Never will I come back to this hotel where some prehistoric furniture is served as food” and walk back to your sedan.
I know there are some people who still think that his subject never really helped us, it only helped them get hotel management degree and to all those people I would like to strongly aver that they are wrong. Dr. Buccal-Cavity’s classes did change me a lot and it is proved by the fact that I am paranoid about cooking. I am not allowed to enter the kitchen at my house lest I should sterilize the vegetables with Potassium Permanganate.
He retired the next semester and so did the subject. Our principal some how realized that, every one was pre-educated on nutrition and students have no right to entertain themselves. I feel pity for the next batches; for they would never be able to understand the importance of buccal cavity as an important part of basic nutrition as we do.
No matter where you are Dr. S. K. Sood, if you are reading this article, I must revel that you have been a source of inspiration to many of us. KS who dated your pretty daughter, (I bet you don’t know about this) has become a food quality manager in a five star restaurant in Bahrain.
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